sinistre contrapposto.

Ow.
"Eash KP you tend to befriend ladies that catch your eye and are unattainable to the normal standards."

That's just mean right there, why say such a negative thing - negative on what they think is my assumed view and on that person's view as well. That's not even cool.

Know that Simpsons episode when Ralph dug Lisa and on the Krusty concert that they went to he announces to the camera that he likes her and in response she yelled nnooooo and that she only chilled with him because no one was giving him a valentine card? And the climax of that scene was that Bart taped that show and in SLO MO he pin points to Lisa when exactly Ralph's heart broke when she said that.
darn of all the days, a beautiful day, mood was semi good but yeah... SLO MO...Crack.

this day - s'just sad man.
Non-diggable, non-enthusiastic, I'm sad, AGAIN. yep it's the MAN GRAINES, eassh - emotional drifts at specific months man, I dunno, it's the chemical imbalance people, the imbalance.
Enjoy your daily lives.

It's good to know that you're walking around downtown on a beautiful day at the same time that you're suppose to be in class - you're your own person, fuget them.

E vel, like the fruiiits of the De vil.
Hate: Private calls - damn anonymous people
Dig: The option from a person's phone of a reply back message after leaving me a voicemail.

As usual school's cool but there's as always - nun happenin. I completely phased out or shunned Christina's wise words of "It's not what you know, IT'S WHO YOU KNOW".
And instead of doing that, I've taken more of studying and learning to the point of enjoying it thus shunning society more and more, creating an outer web that my imaginary spider of insecurity and paranoia spun and created by my lonely, complicated and hypocritical mind.

Know that movie Family Man with Nicolas Cage - swear I'll end up his real persona of being the man with no remorse or emotion with a love of business and money and taking down obstacles whether good or bad, just to get to the top. Pretty much the CEO persona.
That's the weird ish right there - the fascination of being the man, the cold hearted man and living off the luxuries and such and such and claiming to the world that "I have it all" - forreals it's a magnet and a somewhat motivation for me to have and achieve.
There's no negative issue in my current position or life either - family's well off, there's a trip to an island getaway over the summer, which... I plainly and firmly said no due to my decision of taking courses for my major (nnuuuurd alurt), Siblings and parents are kind and generous, funded and yeah.. I didn't experience obstacles that were dramatic - felt some but not as dramatic as to give me such a drive for this wicked dream.
It's a wicked dream in that the CEO persona is the lavishly evil man who, when let loose by themselves, are nothing more than loners basking at nothing because they have nothing to share it with or least have small moments of enjoyment with it. Although I know this, it's still an attraction for me.

On to the real world
How do you define a feeling when you adore a person yet know there's no spark and there's no vision of them being or becoming a sibling type of individual? Light crush with a tinch of idolization? Probably... prob..ab..llly.
The well toned and on and off weight training partner of mines, Sarabeth, is somewhat getting to me - that's the crush side talking. Still, I dig her knowledge of proper form and her motivation - eassh she pounded me one day with her one day workout of 4 benchpress sets, pushups, pec decks - The total upper body package. But yeah, she's fine and hot daym in terms. She gives off somewhat of a role modelish glow and she still has a feminine touch - she ain't butch like the class before ours which is testosteroned women with extreme passion for weightlifting. Dunno... it's a weird vibe, good but unusual - s'like being smacked by a fast moving volley ball and getting the burnish feeling and yet after a while it cools off and it creates a painful yet good feeling.
YEP, no comparison there but that's just weirdo KP talking, yah?

Last notes: I swear one o me buds like a lost puppy - me being solid and solitidual (not a word) don't dig these things of people contacting people, the bud just keeps calling - although annoying, I know I'll be down if it stops later on, so ooohh shit, oh well.
Well that's that - KP has a small crush, I don't dig private calls, I dig older women, I'll be an evil ceo man and I am lonely as fuck - OOOHHHH WHERE R UUUU EVIL LADY that has aspirations of business domination and can also relate to my weirdism and enjoys long walks on the beach, nuuuuhhhhhewwww....

Talk nerdy to me
Saturday, March 1, 2003
The syllabus in a way is the predestined fortune that the fortune teller (teacher) advices you to do and if you don't do it, certain disaster comes to you, oooh ahhhh. But since you're your own person you can choose to either do it or not.

Hoookay... KP goin on a weirdo spree here

Ba da ba ba ching ching ching
Ba da ba ba ba ching ching
What about the money that I spent up today

Scolding cup of hot tea.
Friday, February 28, 2003
Today's mood: annoyed, dying to kick some ass, frustrated and also agitated.
I didn't do squat and I'm blamed for something.
EAsh, that's horseshit, tch tch.

Today wasn't a good day - I honestly didn't DO SHIT and I'm blamed. I'll get off sooner or later. Preferably soon.

Misc: sore as fuck. L to Ignore and R to Answer - chose IGNORE.

Cold air
Although I know the situations and issues, I still tend to watch on the sidelines than do something about it. Good points are that I bring in more information from the situations and I learn from the mistakes. Bad point is that the same situations just grows bigger and bigger every minute.

hey '55', my guess is that I am going in the reversal process rather than what others believe.
Phasing out can happen almost at an instant so this is one of the factors that leads me to the current state.

Non-cynical